Many, many years ago lived a very very rich orc, who thought 
so much of new equipment that he spent all his gold in order 
to obtain them; his only ambition was to be always well
armoured. He did not care for his friends, and the xp'ing did 
not amuse him; the only thing, in fact, he thought anything of 
was to ride out and show a new suit of armour. He had a belt 
for every hour of the day; and as one would say of the orc "He 
is in the armour-shop," so one could say of him, "He is in the 
weapon-shop."

In the great caves where he resided was very gay; every day 
many strangers from all parts of Arda arrived. One day two 
swindlers came to this city; they made people believe that they 
were armourers, and declared they could manufacture the finest 
armour to be imagined. 

The strength and magical protection of the armour, they said, 
were not only exceptional, but the armour made of their 
material possessed the wonderful quality of being invisible to 
any orc who was unfit to be the wearer's friend - and it also 
would be invisible to very unintelligent orcs.

"That must be wonderful armour," thought the orc. "If I were to 
be dressed in a suit made of this I should be able to find out 
which orcs are really my friends and I could distinguish the 
clever from the stupid. I must have this armour made for me 
without delay." 

And he gave a large sum of gold to the swindlers, in advance, 
that they should set to work without any loss of time. They set 
up two working benches, and pretended to be very hard at work, 
but they did nothing whatever on the benches. They asked for 
the finest armour and the most precious shining ores; all they 
got they did away with, and worked at the empty benches till 
late at night.

"I should very much like to know how they are getting on with 
the armour," thought the orc. But he felt rather uneasy when he 
remembered that he who was stupid could not see it. Personally, 
he was of opinion that he had nothing to fear, yet he thought 
it advisable to send somebody else first to see how matters 
stood.

Everybody in the town knew what a remarkable quality the armour 
possessed, and all were anxious to see how bad or stupid their 
neighbours were.

"I shall send my honest old xp-friend to the armourers," 
thought the orc. "He can judge best how the armour looks, for 
he is intelligent, and nobody is a better friend to me than 
he."

The good old friend went into the room where the swindlers sat 
before the empty benches. "Sauron help us!" he thought, and 
opened his eyes wide, "I cannot see anything at all," but he 
did not say so. 

Both swindlers requested him to come near, and asked him if he 
did not admire the exquisite armour, pointing to the empty 
benches. The poor old friend tried his very best, but he could 
see nothing, for there was nothing to be seen. "Oh dear," he 
thought, "can I be so stupid? I should never have thought so, 
and nobody must know it! Is it possible that I am not a good 
friend? No, no, I cannot say that I was unable to see the 
armour."

"Now, have you got nothing to say?" said one of the swindlers, 
while he pretended to be busily mending.

"Oh, it is very well done, exceedingly beautiful," replied the 
old friend looking through his glasses. "So strong it looks!, 
what brilliant colours! I shall tell the rich orc that I like 
the armour very much.

"We are pleased to hear that," said the two armourers, and 
described to him the mending and explained the curious pattern. 
The old friend listened attentively, that he might relate to 
the rich orc what they said; and so he did.

Now the swindlers asked for more gold, plate and shining ore, 
which they required for mending. They kept everything for 
themselves, and not a chunk came near the benches, but they 
continued, as hitherto, to work at the empty benches.

Soon afterwards the emperor sent another honest friend to the 
armourers to see how they were getting on, and if the armour 
was nearly finished. Like the old friend, he looked and looked 
but could see nothing, as there was nothing to be seen.

"Is it not a beautiful piece of armour?" asked the two 
swindlers, showing and explaining the magnificent strength and 
beauty, which, however, did not exist.

"I am not stupid," said the orc. "It is therefore my good 
appointment for which I am not fit. It is very strange, but I 
must not let any one know it;" and he praised the armour, which 
he did not see, and expressed his joy at the beautiful mending 
and the fine pattern. "It is very excellent," he said to the 
rich orc.

Everybody in the whole town talked about the precious armour. 
At last the orc wished to see it himself, while it was still on 
the benches With a number of friends, including the two who had 
already been there, he went to the two clever swindlers, who 
now worked as hard as they could, but without using anything of 
the metal given to them.

"Is it not magnificent?" said the two old friends who had been 
there before. "
You must admire the strength and the mending." 
And then they pointed to the empty benches, for they imagined 
the others could see the armour.

"What is this?" thought the rich orc, "I do not see anything at 
all. That is terrible! Am I stupid? That would indeed be the 
most dreadful thing that could happen to me."

"Really," he said, turning to the armourers, "your armour has 
our most gracious approval;" and nodding contentedly he looked 
at the empty benches, for he did not like to say that he saw 
nothing. All his followers, who were with him, looked and 
looked, and although they could not see anything more than the 
others, they said, like the rich orc, "It is very beautiful." 
And all advised him to wear the new magnificent armour at a 
great procession which was soon to take place. "It is 
magnificent, beautiful, excellent," one heard them say; 
everybody seemed to be delighted, and the rich orc appointed 
the two swindlers his personal armourers.

The whole night previous to the day on which the procession was 
to take place, the swindlers pretended to work, and burned more 
than sixteen candles. People should see that they were busy to 
finish the orc's new suit of armour. They pretended to take the 
armour to the benches, and worked about in the air with big 
hammers and mending, and said at last: "The orc's new suit 
is ready now."

The orc and all his friends and followers then came to the 
hall; the swindlers held their arms up as if they held 
something in their hands and said: "These are the greaves!" 
"This is the breastplate!" and "Here is the golden cloak!" and so 
on. "They are all as light as a cobweb, and one must feel as if 
one had nothing at all upon the body; but that is just the 
beauty of them."

"Indeed!" said all the followers; but they could not see 
anything, for there was nothing to be seen.

"Does it please you now to graciously undress," said the 
swindlers, "that we may assist you in putting on the new suit 
before the large looking-glass?"

The rich orc undressed, and the swindlers pretended to put the 
new suit of armour upon him, one piece after another; and the 
orc looked at himself in the glass from every side.

"How well they look! How well they fit!" said all. "How strong 
it looks! That is a magnificent suit of armour!"

The master of the ceremonies announced that the bearers of the 
canopy, which was to be carried in the procession, were ready.

"I am ready," said the orc. "Does not my armour fit me 
marvellously?" Then he turned once more to the looking-glass, 
that people should think he admired his garments.

The servants, who were to carry the train of the golden cloak, 
stretched their hands to the ground as if they lifted up a 
train, and pretended to hold something in their hands; they 
did not like people to know that they could not see anything.

The rich orc marched in the procession under the beautiful 
canopy, and all who saw him in the street and out of the 
windows exclaimed: "Indeed, the orcs's new suit is 
incomparable! What a long train he has! How well it fits him!" 
Nobody wished to let others know he saw nothing, for then he 
would have been too stupid. Never an orc's armour were more 
admired.

"But he has nothing on at all," said a little child orc at 
last. "Good heavens! listen to the voice of an innocent child," 
said the father, and one whispered to the other what the child 
had said. 

"But he has nothing on at all," cried at last the whole people. 
That made a deep impression upon the rich orc, for it seemed to 
him that they were right; but he thought to himself, "Now I 
must bear up to the end." And the servants walked with still 
greater dignity, as if they carried the train which did not 
exist.

And even today, you can hear laughter if you visit the Prancing 
Pony Inn or the New Orc Caves when a traveller tells the story 
of the rich orc, who so desperately wanted to have the greatest 
and finest armour.