You should always listen to your mom and do as she tells you....

Sorry mom.. just one spot on the list.. please? 8)
I promise i'll come home then!

Boy. Get out of that computer lab before I take this belt to you! Why can't you be a man? Play football, read porn magazines, masterbate, drink beer. No, you have to be a little wuss and play you dorky dirts or muds or whatever you call um. Get a JOB!

Your father

You have to come home darling. I can't keep up this ruse much longer. Your parents are getting suspicious and I'm going to barf if I have to eat another bowl of Alpo to convince them I'm the family dog. To be honest about it, I'm kinda sick of fetching the old man's slippers, too. Don't he ever wash them feets of his? If I knew life was going to be like this, I woulda never left the farm. Come home this instant and make an honest sheep out of me or I spill my guts to mum and dad.

Good grief, don't tell me you're boppin' the sheep, too. I don't see how it could be very satisfying for something that big, not that you've ever seemed to care about satisfying anybody but yourself. Have your sheep, see if I care. I have more fun in one minute on the wheel thingy than I could have in a lifetime with you. Wheeeeeee. Gawd, I love this wheel thingy. Anyway, hope you and sheep are happy, cause I know I am. Wheeeeeeeee.

Damn those wee little turds! You would think with all his practice at the topic, Jon's dad would know how to spell masturbate!

And yes, I know how to spell schoolteacher, it's just this newfangled computer cut me off!

yu *glub* rottin *glub* two-timin basterd *gasp* jon *glub*!!!!! *glub*

Don't worry mom, I helped do my part in sending Jon home!

Wheels kick arse.

Stop whining you fucking whining goldfish. I know you animals are all just jealous of my infinite power. You could never kill me. Hah!

BOK BokcCOMEHOMEANDFUCKMESOMEMOREJONbokBOKBOBKCARKpokILOVEYOURSMALLCOCKINMYASS

How come that posts/comments that start as fun are always ruined by some sickoes?

Help me someone!, I haven't been out from this place for years!, Jon have never time to wank me nowadays!, I'll miss the good ol' hamster and the sheep, heeeelp!

Take him to rickie lake, and afterwards, send him to bootcamp, mom!

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaah, get the hell home you skank.

You told me you would spend more time with me now that I'm pregnant. And now look at you, you just hide out in that computer lab! You are acting just like Daddy did to Mumsie when she was pregnant!!! Just because they were brother and sister too doesn't mean you can treat your kin this way. When you eventually do come back, bring the Chocolate mint icecream and sardines in mustard sauce like you promised.

*squoooooosh*

Why haven't you combed me lately Jon? I have been missing that healing touch of yours, as you lube me with gel and slick it back and forth, back and forth, lifting my higher and higher, wider and wider till i explode into a mushroom of hair ecstasy! Oh Yeah!