Mume.net - LOG: Letter in my mail..

Written on Thu May  4 08:43:02 2006

YO HOMESS I BE ROLLIN WITCHA CUZZ
tell Barliman PSH FOSHORZALE WE BE GANGIN DA BLOODS
WTF CUZ WHERE DAT BITCH BARLIMAN COME FROM CUZZ WTF 
WE BE GUNNN AND RUNNIN EM DOWN CUZLE
THO WE AINT CUZNLES I LOV YAHH LIKEE A KI-CUZZLE
YO ME NO GAY CUZZ
WHATS A LITTLE HETEROSEXUAL FORPLAY
BETWEEN CRYPTZ CUZZZ

AHHAHAHA IM LYIN IM A BLOOD RENEGADE YO
I BE A MUTHFAUKEN IMISSARY OF TEH BL00DZ CUS 
YO BEST WTACHO BACK NIGGAH CUZ WE BE FYLIN
FLYIN ON U CRYPT NIGGAZ CUZZ
LIKE BLACK DEATH VCUZ
I GOIT THE JUICE NOW CUZZZ
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AITE CALLIN UP ALL CRIPS WE GOTTA TRICK SHIT
UNDA OUR SLEEVES

CALLIN THE CRIPS WE GO TO WAR AGAINST THE BLOODS CUZ

CRIPS CUZ
FOR HONOR

Autotranslator

2006-05-05 23:17:22

In plain English the letter reads as follows:

Dear Snakr:

I am a 14 year old boy and somewhat immature. You might give me some attention because everybody says you are an idiot. I think the Crips (a drug-sucking violent street gang with no future) is really cool, so I pretend to be one on the internet. It helps me to forget I am a pale-ass honky wanker with a sunken chest and pimples. Anyway, if you are as stupid and gullible as I am, maybe you will play along and we can get a regular thing going where we pretend we are African-Americans doing neat stuff like having a war with rival street gangs. Of course, if I ever actually was in the same room with a Crip or a Blood I would pee my pants, so lets just make it clear that this is all a fantasy thing for us teenager nerdy types and we don't have to actually associate with any black people just to pretend. Okay?

Sincerly yours,
Wussy Crips Wannabe

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PSYCHO-ADDENDUM (no extra charge):
You have to read between the lines, but what this child is really saying is that he wishes his dad would take him to a ballgame. I can't tell if he knows who is dad is, but he obviously lacks a strong male presence in his life.